Articles and Testimonies

Born gay?

The majority of homosexuals believe they were born "gay". This belief often supplies them with comfort, relieving them of any responsibility to change. However, there is no solid scientific evidence that people are born homosexual. The overwhelming majority of gay people are completely normal genetically. They are full male or female.

1. What is homosexuality?

Most people assume homosexuality to be little more than a sexual act between two individuals of the same gender. This is far too simplistic a view of this multifaceted topic. Anyone interested in this subject must take four areas into account: physiological psychic response, identity, behavior, and lifestyle options.
Learned Responses
God created each of us as a complex creature. We have needs that must be met in order for us to grow and mature. When these needs are not met, we establish immature coping mechanisms that often work directly against God's original intent for us. Frank Worthen, the founder of Exodus International, explains this phenomenon this way:

Psychic response is a technical term for what many people refer to as a "homosexual orientation." Though many people claim that they have experienced visual or sexual attraction for the same sex "as long as they can remember," there is a progression in a person's life that leads to a homosexual psychic response. A child may start out with a need to compare himself with others to see if he measures up to societal standards. When he feels he doesn't compare favorably with others, he develops admiration for those traits and physical characteristics he feels he does not possess. Admiration, which is normal, may turn to envy. Envy leads to the desire to possess others and finally, to consume others. This strong desire becomes eroticized somewhere along the way, eventually leading to homosexual psychic response (also known as sexual thought life or fantasy).
Behavior
When these psychic responses take root, some people carry out these fantasies first through masturbation and later in actual sexual behavior with another male or female. But the physical act itself does not indicate a homosexual orientation. Many young boys who engage in homosexual behavior later end up with no vestiges of homosexuality.
Identity
The problem in today's social climate is that more and more individuals are taking on a gay identity simply because they need to find their place. Many who would rarely have experienced a struggle with homosexuality find themselves comfortable in this identity because of society's "anything goes" mentality.
Other people embrace a gay identity after years of physiological psychic response. Their behaviors create an identity in which they take comfort or even pride.
Lifestyle
Homosexuality includes varying lifestyles. Some gays only engage in anonymous and relatively rare sexual encounters and tend to live in constant fear of being found out. Others "come out" and become active, politically motivated members of the gay community and associate only with those favorable to like causes.
As you can see, homosexuality is multidimensional, and individuals can land anywhere on the spectrum of these four basic components. What does this information mean for you? Don't just take a friend or loved one's confession or proclamation of homosexuality as evidence that he or she is engaging in same-sex sexual behavior. Talk to him or her to develop a deeper understanding of what the admission means.

Dr. Jeffrey Satinover has written extensively on the struggle of homosexuality and has helped countless people help others - and help themselves. The following has been adapted from his "What to Do... and Not to Do" list from his report Homosexuality Facts versus Fictions.

1. Be willing to share about your own personal struggles and temptations.

2. Don't condemn. People have not "chosen" to "have homosexual feelings" the way some choose to live in a certain city. To describe it this way is to convince them that you have no understanding at all about their experience - and no sympathy for it as well. Know that the core of the homosexual struggle is rejection.

3. Don't start citing all the problems with homosexuality. Consider how rarely exhortations convince someone to give up alcohol or smoking. But don't go to the opposite extreme either. Unquestioning acceptance of homosexuality as a legitimate "alternative" may seem at first to be the only compassionate option. But there are better and more appropriate approaches that show concern and understanding, yet deal with the reality of the situation.

4. Try to prevent the problem before it occurs. Openly discuss the subject of homosexuality with your friends or anyone you are close to who may be struggling. Familiarise yourself with the causes and address them at an early time. Help them understand the risks.

5. Share specific avenues of help that have helped thousands of people in the midst of their struggle with homosexuality. Give them hope that change is possible! Perhaps even share this booklet with them. Even if the person is defensive and resistant, a specific route of assistance that is lovingly offered may be followed some day down the road.

6. Show love, concern and gentleness as you point the way to healing.

Adapted from Straight Talk - The Myths and Facts about Homosexuality
www.lovewonout.com

Transsexual

The situation
A man rejects his original gender and identity as a result of a deep and severe split from negative childhood experiences. Physical development is normal but psychologically, he develops an intense conviction that he is a member of the opposite sex, thus desiring to have his sex changed. One major difficulty in determining this condition, known as transsexualism, is the inability to conclusively sift out true transsexualism from delusional thinking.

How is gender determined?
In humans, there are only two definite expressions of gender: male and female. This is clearly different from the animal and plant kingdoms wfere a creature can be asexual (no sex organs) such as the single-cell amoeba, or bi-sexual (having both) such as some papaya trees.
To determine your own gender (just in case you don't
know), consider how sex is expressed:

- Societal. Society designates symbols and roles for men and women. For example, blue is for boy while pink is for girl. In most societies, the man is the main breadwinner while the woman, the homemaker. At work, a man does certain jobs (construction worker) while a woman, others (receptionist). These stereotypes change hom time to time and are different hom culture to culture. However, do symbols and roles define your gender?

- Psychological. Emotions when expressed in the form of behaviours can take on gender attributes defined by people and culture. Feelings like anger, libido, sympathy, can have conclusions like these: men talk loudly and ogle a lot. Women cry more, hug a lot. But do feelings have sexual differentiation? Do your emotions determine your gender?

- Physical. This refers to your external physical characteristics such as facial and body structure, shape and form. Does having hairy legs make you a man? Or smooth fair skin, a woman? What if you have both? Don't fret. It's just the level of your hormones which determine these characteristics. Nothing is wrong with your sex.

- Genetics. Every normal cell contains two sex chromosomes: the male, XY, while the female, xx. Very, very rarely, mix ups occur, resulting in physical abnormalities and ambiguous genitalia known as "Intersex". Usually, your chromosomal sex, also known as genetic sex, matches with what you see in the full-length mirror when undressed.

- Genitals. The primary sexual characteristics for males are the testes, and the female, ovaries (not breasts). Therefore, the saying that "a man's two are located downstairs, while the woman's two are upstairs" does not correspond scientifically. Everyone knows (at least the doctor and midwife at your birth) how to identify a boy and girl. So if you still don't know your gender by now, ask your doctor, fathelf mother or helpful neighbuor.